


breakdown

by Kalpa (orphan_account)



Series: sunshine [8]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Anger, Angst, Arguments, Comfort, Cute, F/M, Fights, Fluff, Hurt, Hurt and comfort, Romance, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 07:13:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5657404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Kalpa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jay allies with the Institute, she and Hancock have a lover's spat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	breakdown

**Author's Note:**

> honestly, im just considering deleting a bunch of these and compiling them into a huge chapter book but until this thing is finished, it'll be a series  
> i hope you guys like this one ! i took a different approach to it and made it more dialogue centric than the other installments. so let me know what you guys think!!!

“The Institute wants me to ally with them,” Jay told Hancock one morning, a coffee mug filled with coffee in her hand. The two were sitting at the old kitchen table that had lasted in her home in the early morning, when the sun’s paints were smeared across the untouched sky. Hancock was reading a comic book he had found in a building over in Concord, sipping water every now and then. They were comfy and finally relaxed, enjoying a moment of peace between the two. 

They’d just woken up, too. Jay’s hair had been tied up in a bun that sat on the top of her head, stray strands sticking up and pointing everywhere dramatically. The only clothes she wore were a pair of Hancock’s pants, rolled up to her ankles, and a baggy, old t shirt that Nate had owned and stored in a metal bin that hadn’t been destroyed. Hancock was in a white button dress shirt and his typical pants, red coat and hat abandoned for the moment. They looked almost normal, that morning. There were no guns in their holsters, no stimpacks poking in their side, and no threat of being eaten by some mutated beast. 

So why Jay had chosen to bring up the Institute issue was beyond her. One moment she had just been enjoying being in the quiet presence of Hancock without chaos and destruction going around them. The next moment she’d found blistering hot anxiety burning her up, and she’d blurted out the source of her anxiety; the Institute. 

Hancock simply looked at her from over his coffee mug, arching an eyebrow as he placed the mug on the table. Jay watched him with wild, nervous eyes, playing with her fingers under the table. “The  _ Institute?”  _ he asked incredulously, placing his cup down on the table in utter confusion and surprise. 

Jay chewed on her lips for a moment, nodding. “When I went to visit them, I...uh...talked to their ‘Father’ and looked around at everything they had,” she told him, and he snorted, shaking his head. 

“Good Christ, don’t tell me they brainwashed you, blue,” he replied, frowning. Instantly, a hot and unpleasant feeling jumped up in her chest as she stared at him, eyebrows furrowed. 

“What?” she asked. 

“You went to the Institute ready to die to end them. And you know how thankful I am you got out of there alive, but  _ allying them?  _ That’s the kind of dictatorship shit that I hate, and you know that,” he told her, and she took a deep breath to calm herself. 

“I-I do. But there’s more to it than that,” she tried to explain, and Hancock leaned back in his chair, waiting for her to continue. After a moment, Jay began to explain. “They...they’re okay. They don’t kill anyone on the surface, and the people that are killed are killed by rogue synths that need to be stopped anyways,” she tried to tell him, and he watched her with no response for a moment. Fear and anxiety made her heart beat quickly and loudly in her chest as he simply looked at her. 

“Did they tell you that?” he asked, voice tight and unconvinced. Jay’s heart sank in her chest as she looked at him helplessly.

“Y-yeah.”

“Jay, you haven’t seen what the Institute has done to people. You haven’t seen how they have destroyed families, killed people and ended settlements all because of a  _ few Rogue synths _ . They’re only showing you what they want you to see,” he said, anger and resentment dripping with every word as he leaned forward onto the table. Jay licked her lips nervously, opening her mouth to speak but her interrupted her. “You’re naive, blue.”

Anger spiked in her now at his comment and she furrowed her eyebrows, gesturing to herself. “ _ I’m  _ naive?” she asked, anger clear and loud. 

Hancock looked at her as though she were dumb. “When it comes to these boogeymen, yeah you are, blue.” 

“Don’t call me blue if you’re gonna say I’m naive,” Jay exclaimed, throwing her hands out in exasperation and anger. Hancock looked at her as though she were the Institute itself as she stood there, breathing heavily, tears coming to her eyes. The past few months she had been awake and, once again, alive had been the hardest months of her entire existence. She had gone to sleep with a husband and a son, and she woke up to a bullet in Nate’s head and her son in the hands of these ‘boogeymen’. Jay had gone to the end of the Wasteland, to the edge of a radiation hotzone, just to find her son, and when she did, he was the leader of her enemy; the Institute. 

She couldn’t be responsible for destroying her son’s life, not when she had been the one to give him it. Jay would not turn her back on the last one in her family, even if it meant everyone she knew looked at her in distaste and disgust. 

Jay was many things; reckless, dangerous, rash, aggressive, and slow, but she was not naive. 

She pointed to herself as tears began to blur her vision, her voice cracking as sobs rose. “I have seen  _ so  _ much death in my 238 years of life. I saw the war on communism, and I saw what it did to people. People would kill their next door neighbor who they’d known for years just because they might be supporting China. People would kill each other for water, for shelter, for food. I was far from the Wasteland back when I had a husband and a baby, but I saw it coming. I saw that fucking nuke hit, and I heard everyone around me  _ die  _ as I lived. I watched the Wasteland be created, the people be mutated, the Commonwealth be made into a piece of  _ shit _ . I went into stasis a married woman, and woke up a widow with a baby stolen. You can hate me for deciding to ally with them, you can kill me if you think I’m a synth, but don’t you  _ dare  _ call me naive, John Hancock. Don’t you  _ dare _ ,” she screamed, voice echoing throughout the house and the small town as she shook and sobbed. She knew her face was ugly as she fell to the ground, sobbing loudly and hysterically. Hot tears streamed down her face and dripped onto her legs as she let her sorrow and grief catch up with her. For a moment, she was scared if Hancock would just leave her to her emotions, that he would walk out and leave her there in a home too large and too quiet for just one when it was meant for three. 

Warm arms wrapped around her, pulling her into a familiar chest as she burrowed her head into a neck. Hancock’s familiar, comfortingly gruff voice shushed her as he rubbed his hand up and down her back, consoling her. Jay knew she must be strangling the ghoul due to her tight grip, but when she went to pull away, he pulled her in tight, a hand going to the back of her head. A soft hiccup came from her throat as a product of the harsh sobbing. “Christ, even sobbing you’re cute, blue,” he whispered into her hair, and she laughed an unstable, shaky laugh that she nearly felt embarrassed.

“Thanks,” she said, pulling back from his chest and arms slowly. Embarrassed by her emotional breakdown, Jay tried to cover her face with her hands as she rubbed at her nose, sniffling loudly. “Sorry-” she began, but he interrupted her with his movements. 

Hancock reached forward and took her hand, showing her face. Jay’s cheeks were pink from the sobbing, and her eyes were a glossy red. She sniffled, looking away but he gently took her left cheek, and softly made her look at him. He looked concerned and confused as he looked at her. “You’re sorry for what?”

“Allying with them, for crying, for being a dumb emotional-”

“First of all, you’re not dumb. You hacked into my computer in less than a minute when we first met, and I was so impressed with your skills that I didn’t put a cap in your ass, okay?” he joked, and Jay giggling, rubbing a stray tear away from her right cheek as she looked down. Hancock directed her to look back up at her, and she stared into his dark eyes with subtle fear. “Second of all, yeah, I fucking  _ despise  _ the Institute. But if they kept you alive instead of killing you, then I owe them one,” he told her, and she tilted her head in confusion, furrowing her eyebrows. 

“Why do you owe them one for keeping me alive?” she asked. 

“Because you saw how I coped with your ‘death’. The Wasteland is a lot more empty and a lot shitier without my blue Jay running around in it, helping people get through life a tad bit easier,” he admitted, shrugging as he looked down at her with a fond smirk she had come to love and admire over time. She smiled, laughing breathlessly at his comment. “That’s why I owe them one.” 

Jay nodded, taking a deep, shaky breath to calm herself. Hancock clearly saw she had something more to tell him, and he calmly sat there with his hand on top of hers. His thumb was rubbing smooth and calming circles on her palm, and she focused on the sensation as she felt the anger and anxiety dip down into a manageable level. “There’s...more to it than they’re really advanced and don’t see like as much of asses as they come off as,” she told him. He arched his eyebrow and she chewed on her lip as she thought of the best way to inform him. “Their...leader… They call him Father,” she told him. 

Hancock snorted in disbelief. “What the hell? Do they have a daddy kink or somethin?” he asked, and Jay cringed at the thought of hundreds of thousands of synths having a daddy kink with her  _ son.  _ The ghoul noticed her distaste and hastily apologized, but she held up her index finger to shush him. 

“It’s fine, Hancock. It’s just...they call him Father because he has the DNA that they use in every synth, so basically, he is a...father,” she awkwardly explained, silently disturbed by the facts as much as Hancock. 

“So he has like...hundreds of kids?” Hancock asked, and Jay nodded, frowning to herself as she began to understand the implications of her son being every synth’s father. 

“Uh...yeah… Well, as it turns out, when the Institute first looked for this DNA they realized that they needed pure DNA that hadn’t been exposed to radiation,” she explained, and Hancock’s confusion was clear and obvious on his features. She nodded. “Bear with me...so they went to a vault where no one had been exposed to radiation and-”

“Holy shit,” Hancock interrupted, eyes wide as he realized what Jay was implying. She watched him with a worried expression, but he merely looked at her, jaw dropped slightly. “‘Father’ is Shaun?” he gasped, and Jay nodded, and a large grin split on Hancock’s face as he let out a loud laugh. “Holy shit, blue, you’re a grandma.”

Jay punched his shoulder playfully as she rolled her eyes, quietly giggling. “Shut up. I’m not a day past 238.” she joked and Hancock smirked down at her. 

“Trust me, I can see that,” he told her, and she smiled, trying to will away the blush that came to her cheeks. 

“Shut up,” she replied, voice low and embarrassed as Hancock let out a deep, throaty chuckle. Jay cleared her throat, and continued. “Yeah, Shaun is their leader, which is why I’m allying with them,” she told him, and Hancock nodded, frowning slightly. 

“Damn. You not a big synth lover or…”

“I honestly don’t give a shit. If the synths are nice and want something, they should go about it peacefully. If they’re assholes and are killing people, then I’ll just yell their reset code and everything’s good. If you don’t like something, work with them, right?” she asked, and Hancock smirked down at her, 

“That’s my girl,” he said affectionately, patting the bun on top of her head and Jay smiled up at him with bright eyes. 

“You’re...not mad at me?” 

“I’ll be honest with you, blue. I don’t like it, but I like you a whole lot more,” he told her, and Jay giggled, looking down at the floor. “So, what’s next?”

And when Jay looked up and intertwined her fingers with Hancock’s, she knew Nate would be proud, and, in a few breathless moments, she let him go, and opened her heart for the ghoul. 

**Author's Note:**

> if you liked this, PLEASE comment or/and PLEASE leave kudos!!!  
> it's such a motivator!!!  
> thank you for reading!!!!


End file.
